I heard we made out
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
