How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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