4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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