he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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