Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
