Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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