The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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