at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize