Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
