If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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