Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
