Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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