You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
