i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize