Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
