last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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