but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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