I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's like iHOP with fire
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
