is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
