So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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