You can't motorboat a personality
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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