Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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