i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think my vagina is haunted
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think people are normalizing furries
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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