Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
