I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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