You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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