Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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