Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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