yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
