roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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