Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
