I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
