I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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