Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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