Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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