We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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