If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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