I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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