Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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