theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Send help, water and tortillas.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
