This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
