It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
