I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
