erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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