how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
