your thong is hanging out like whoa
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
