I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
