come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
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He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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