found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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