I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Welp...herpes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
