I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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