Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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