She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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