Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
third nipple confirmed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
