My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
