His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
