Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize