do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
