seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
